Shen Juan's motion as he shredded the agreement was swift and decisive, as if he were tearing down not just a paper contract, but the invisible wall standing between them. The shreds were cleaned away meticulously, leaving no trace in the bedroom. Only the sleepwear hanging side-by-side in the closet silently proclaimed a certain change.
However, the trajectory of life did not completely alter because of one impulsive morning.
The next evening, when the clock struck eleven and Lin Zhi, freshly washed, stood at the master bedroom doorway holding her pillow, she saw Shen Juan leaning against the headboard, a laptop on his knees, the cold light of the screen illuminating his focused profile.
He heard the sound, looked up, his gaze sweeping over the pillow in her arms. His tone was flat and unrippled. "Go to sleep first. I have an international conference call."
Lin Zhi's steps halted. In that instant, she clearly felt an invisible boundary still existed. Tearing up the agreement was easy, but changing patterns of interaction formed over months, or even longer, required more time and actions to overwrite.
"Okay," she responded softly, placing the pillow back on his side and quietly lying down on the other, pulling the covers over herself.
She didn't ask how long the meeting would last, nor did she actively move closer like the previous nights. She simply closed her eyes, listening to his deliberately hushed, fluent English echoing in the room, occasionally punctuated by the crisp sound of keyboard strokes. The noise wasn't unpleasant; instead, it carried a kind of real, vital energy that belonged to him.
Sometime later, the sounds stopped. The light went out. The mattress beside her dipped slightly.
He lay down, maintaining a proper distance. No embrace, no holding hands.
In the darkness, Lin Zhi could feel the tension in his body, and the effort to return to the "normal" track. Perhaps he regretted his morning impulse, perhaps he was reassessing their relationship, or perhaps he was just unaccustomed to such rapid intimacy.
She didn't move, didn't speak. Only, as the familiar scent of cedar enveloped her, she relaxed her breath almost imperceptibly.
The next day, the day after... it was similar. He was still busy, still stayed in the study until late, then lay down beside her carrying weariness and a chill. Sharing a bed became a literal description.
Lin Zhi didn't show any abnormality. She still prepared breakfast, tidied the apartment, went to work at the restoration center. Only now, when he returned late at night, a cup of warm, sleep-aiding herbal tea would appear on the nightstand. She no longer deliberately waited for him, choosing instead to sleep first, leaving the bedside lamp on his side lit, and the quiet of the room waiting.
In her own way, she was giving him space, while stubbornly holding her ground in the corner of his territory she had already occupied.
The turning point came late one Friday night.
Shen Juan returned home from a tedious banquet, later than usual. The alcohol didn't bring sleepiness; instead, it intensified his headache. He loosened his tie and pushed open the master bedroom door, bringing with him the smell of alcohol and irritation.
The room was lit only by a dim wall lamp. Lin Zhi was already asleep, turned towards his side of the bed, her breathing even. The space beside her was empty, the pillow neatly arranged as if waiting for his return.
Shen Juan stood by the bed, gazing at her soft, sleeping face in the warm light. The deliberate distance he'd maintained these past days shattered at this moment under a deeper weariness and longing. He needed sleep, real rest, the peace he could only find by her side.
He practically staggered into bed, his movements inevitably disturbing her.
Lin Zhi opened her eyes groggily. Seeing his tightly furrowed brow and the sweat at his temples, her sleepiness vanished大半 (for the most part). Subconsciously, she reached out, her cool fingertips touching his forehead.
"Are you unwell?" Her voice was husky from sleep, yet unusually clear.
Shen Juan grabbed her wrist, his grip a bit forceful, his scorching palm pressed against her cool skin. He didn't speak, just looked at her deeply, his eyes churning with a pain even alcohol couldn't numb and a certain desperate need.
Then, he pulled her tightly into his embrace, leaving not a sliver of space between them. His chin rested on the top of her head, his hot breath spraying against her neck.
Lin Zhi stiffened for a moment, then relaxed, raising her hands to gently encircle his lean waist. She could feel the rapid beating of his heart and the slight trembling of his body.
"Woke you," his voice was muffled in her hair, terribly hoarse.
"No," she replied in a low voice, her palm gently patting his back, soothing him like a frightened child. "Sleep. I'm here."
No questioning, no complaints, only complete acceptance.
That embrace lasted a long time. Long enough for Shen Juan's frantic heartbeat to gradually calm, his tense muscles to slowly relax, and his heavy eyelids to finally close. The alcohol and fatigue, combined with the real warmth in his arms and the reassuring scent, ultimately conquered the stubborn insomnia.
He fell into a deep sleep in her embrace, his arm still circling her—a posture full of possessiveness and dependence.
Lin Zhi, however, didn't fall asleep immediately. Listening to his now steady breathing, feeling the weight of his arm around her waist, she opened her eyes wide in the darkness. She knew that some barriers were crumbling in another way.
The next morning, Shen Juan woke from a rare, deep sleep, his headache gone without a trace, his mind clear and refreshed. He found he was still holding Lin Zhi, and she was awake too, lying quietly in the crook of his arm, looking at him with clear eyes, not a hint of sleepiness in them.
Their eyes met. The air hung still for a moment.
Shen Juan was the first to look away. He released his arm and sat up, his movements slightly stiff. "I have a video conference in the morning," he explained, his tone regaining its usual calmness, though a faint, barely perceptible flush touched the tips of his ears.
"What would you like for breakfast?" Lin Zhi also sat up, her tone natural, as if last night's near-suffocating embrace had been just a dream.
"Whatever." He got up and walked towards the bathroom. Before closing the door, he paused, his back to her, and said, "Tonight... I'll come back early."
Lin Zhi looked at the closed bathroom door, a slight curve touching the corners of her lips. It was a small step forward, but it was enough.
However, life isn't only filled with tender moments. When Shen Juan sat down at the breakfast table and received the urgent documents Zhou Xiao brought, the mildness about him instantly faded, replaced by the decisive head of a conglomerate.
"Rongding Group is also making a move on the plot of land in the east end," Zhou Xiao reported, his tone grave. "The terms they're offering are very favorable. The government side seems a bit动摇 (wavering)."
Shen Juan skimmed through the documents rapidly, his eyes sharp. "Get the car ready, we're going to the municipal government. Also, contact President Zhang from Deloitte, schedule a lunch meeting."
He stood up, glanced at Lin Zhi beside him, seemed to want to say something, but ultimately only said, "I won't be back for lunch."
Lin Zhi nodded, wrapped the barely touched fried egg in cling film, put it连同 (together with) the washed fruit into a paper bag, and handed it to him. "For the road."
Shen Juan looked at the plain paper bag, took it in silence, his fingertips brushing against hers briefly before he turned and strode away.
This busy period lasted for several days of leaving early and returning late. The commercial battles were fierce, and the pressure surrounding Shen Juan was terrifyingly low, keeping even Zhou Xiao on high alert.
But no matter how late he returned home, the light in the master bedroom was always on. Sometimes Lin Zhi was reading, sometimes she was already asleep, but on the nightstand there was always a cup of water or tea at the right temperature.
He no longer刻意 (deliberately) maintained distance. Sometimes, when utterly exhausted, he would simply pull her over, bury his head in the crook of her neck, say nothing, just recharge. Sometimes, waking startled in the night, feeling the warmth in his arms, he would tighten his embrace, confirm her presence, and fall asleep again.
They still didn't speak much to each other, but their physical understanding grew daily. A look, a slight movement, could convey a message.
Late one night, Shen Juan returned carrying a chill about him, his face darker than ever before. The bid had failed, snatched away by Rongding using some underhanded method. He shut himself in his study for a long time, not returning to the bedroom until the early hours of the morning.
Lin Zhi was awakened by the heavy smell of smoke and alcohol on him. She didn't turn on the light, sitting up in the darkness, she asked softly, "What's wrong?"
Shen Juan stood by the bed, the moonlight outlining his rigid silhouette. He didn't answer, just suddenly leaned down, planting his hands on either side of her, trapping her within that small space. His intense presence washed over her, carrying suppressed anger and frustration.
"Am I a failure?" he asked hoarsely, a trace of barely detectable vulnerability in his voice. The king of a commercial empire, in this moment, seemed like a lost child.
Lin Zhi wasn't afraid, nor did she push him away. She raised her hand and gently smoothed his tightly furrowed brow.
"The Shen Juan I know," her voice was exceptionally clear in the silence, "wouldn't否定自己 (deny himself) because of one failure."
He jolted violently, grabbed her wrist, his gaze locking onto hers like a torch. "The me you know? What am I like?"
Lin Zhi met his gaze without flinching. "The Shen Juan who stubbornly claimed the sofa was more comfortable when he couldn't sleep. The Shen Juan who held me tightly during a thunderstorm. The Shen Juan who gave me the bracelet his mother left behind. The Shen Juan who... even when very tired, remembered to tell me he'd be back early tonight."
She paused, then said word by word, "Is a very good, very real Shen Juan."
The air seemed to freeze. Shen Juan stared死死 (fixedly) at her, as if trying to find any hint of hypocrisy or pity in her eyes. But all he saw was坦然 (candid) sincerity and gentle understanding.
The taut string snapped abruptly.
He lowered his head, his forehead resting against hers, their hot breaths mingling. No kiss, just this dependent, almost reverent posture.
After a long time, he finally spoke in a voice almost too quiet to hear. "...Thank you."
That night, he didn't talk about any of the commercial setbacks. He just held her, as if clinging to the only lifebuoy, and sank into a deep sleep. And Lin Zhi knew that something on a deeper level had quietly changed. She was no longer just the "remedy" for his insomnia, but was beginning to become a resting place for his weary soul. Cracks still existed, but glimmers had broken through, illuminating the possibility of moving forward.
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