Drunk 醉酒

one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk." "but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!" 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

A shrewd guess 准确的猜测

While taking the 1993 census, I called on a woman who refused to state her age. I told her I was permitted to make an estimate. "I guess 85 is about right," I said and pretended to write on the form. "Don't you dare!" she snapped. "I'm only 68." 在做1993年人口普查时，我碰到了一位拒绝说出自己年龄的女士。我告诉她我有权作出判断。“我认为你是85岁，这没错吧。”我边说边假装往表格上写。她急了，说道：“你敢，我才68岁。”

I Can't Let Him Get Away 不能让他跑了

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day. 一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

Very stupid robbers 两个笨贼

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious（迷信的） !" 两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！” 第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”

英语笑话