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关于怎么对待自己这个问题。

我明知道无论从那个角度出发，都应该两三分爱人 七八分爱己。

可我偏偏就是做不好这件事。

About how to treat yourself.

I know that no matter from that point of view, we should love each other two or three times and love ourselves seven or eight times.

But I just can't do it well.

看剧很享受，但又觉得浪费时间，导致看一会儿就想刷手机，而漫无目的地刷手机本身也是浪费时间。

为什么要用一种浪费时间的行为去缓解另一种浪费时间的行为呢？

后来我懂了，人生大部分快乐，都是来自于浪费时间。

It's very enjoyable to watch the drama, but it's a waste of time. As a result, I want to brush my mobile phone after watching it for a while, and it's a waste of time to brush my mobile phone aimlessly.

Why use one kind of time wasting behavior to alleviate another kind of time wasting behavior?

Later I learned that most of the happiness in life comes from wasting time.

我容貌焦虑最严重的时候，不想出门，出门的话就低着头走，公共场合不想引起任何人的注意，怕别人看我的目光。

现在好多了，虽然知道自己也不是什么大美女，但普普通通就够了，也挺好的了。

When my appearance is most anxious, I don't want to go out. If I go out, I will walk with my head down. I don't want to attract anyone's attention in public places. I'm afraid that others will look at me.

It's much better now. Although I know I'm not a beauty, it's just plain enough, and it's very good.

只要我的手机还有电和流量，我的孤独就追不上我。

As long as my mobile phone still has electricity and traffic, my loneliness can't catch up with me.

真是年纪越大越受不得委屈，要是不相干的人也就算了，我倒是几乎从不放在心上。

但是在意的人不行，格外受不得。

我在意你，你却让我觉得委屈，那我就会特别特别委屈，还很记仇，甚至觉得你不配被我在意。

It is really the older and more aggrieved, if not related people even, I almost never put on the heart.

But the people who care about it can not, especially suffer.

I care about you, but you let me feel wronged, then I will be particularly aggrieved, but also very revenge, even think you are not worthy of my attention.

记忆最让人崩溃的地方，也许就在于它的猝不及防。

在某个祥和的午后，你正吃着火锅唱着歌，那些尖利的记忆碎片就像潮水般突然奔涌进你脑海里，让你闪躲不及。

Perhaps the most collapsing part of memory is that it is caught off guard.

On a peaceful afternoon, you are eating hot pot and singing songs. Those sharp memory fragments rush into your mind like a tide, making you unable to dodge.

上一秒和朋友开开心心，下一秒自己在家里，突如其来的孤独感。

想起某综艺节目，某艺人邀朋友来家聚餐，热热闹闹，客人走后他独自窝在地上哭泣，突如其来的孤独感。

Last second and friends open heart, next second in their own home, sudden loneliness.

When he thought of a variety show, an artist invited friends to dinner and made a fuss. After the guests left, he was alone and crying on the ground, and suddenly he felt lonely.

我们正处在“一个不够”的时代：一部手机不够、一份薪水不够、一个情人不够、一辆车子不够、一栋房子不够……

我们对外面的世界过度需求，对每天的自己过度使用。

We are in the era of "one not enough": one mobile phone is not enough, one salary is not enough, one lover is not enough, one car is not enough, one house is not enough

We over demand the outside world and over use ourselves every day.

实话说我常感到孤独，也因此觉得愉快。

多年以来我都想钻入人堆里，与人发生紧密的联系，可是就像我养过的宠物一样，我无法改变自己，他们也无法改变他们。

我不爱动弹，他们就会咳嗽，他们有跳蚤，我就会烦恼，所以终于还是分散。

To be honest, I often feel lonely and happy.

For many years, I've wanted to get in touch with people, but like my pets, I can't change myself and they can't change them.

I don't like to move, they will cough, they have fleas, I will worry, so finally or scattered.